Monthly Archives: June 2009

IPATH BURNQUIST: OH HOT DAMN!

Didn’t see these ones coming.  I’m not feeling all the colorways, but the shoe is the business!  Available at multiple retailers for $60-$80.

Ipath Burnquist

Ipath Burnquist

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Filed under Footwear, That New New

Smell Yo Dick

There are no words.

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Filed under Crack

What NOT to wear to a hip hop / rap club

So it’s time for a special edition of what NOT to wear, idea courtesy of one of our readers.

In this edition, we’ll be discussing what not to wear to a specific type of club: rap clubs.  Or hip hop clubs.  Or go-go clubs if you’re from the DMV, or whatever the hell type of music you listen to in your area.

Going to a rap club is a special affair.  You have to come correct, but sadly, too many clubgoers take it to either extreme and miss the hard-to-find balance between street and classy.  Today, we’ll be evaluating these types of faux-pas so you don’t make the same mistakes.

Without further ado…

1. ED HARDY

Not a good look.

Not a good look.

I’m clueless as to what people see in this god-forsaken brand.  So what, you wear this so you can run around in overpriced “tattoo-inspired” clothing and be fly?  I think not.  The operative term for this type of person is “douchebag,” and they should be avoided at all costs.  Ed Hardy is not a good look, period.  Wearing it might will get you shot.

2. THE COLORS RED/BLUE (*applies particularly to West Side California)

To be fair, most gangbangers don’t rock red and blue attire 24/7.  Usually, it’s white tees.  HOWEVER, wearing strictly red or blue (coupling this with bandanas heightens the effect) to the club might get people wondering whose side you’re on.  This could become problematic should members of opposing gangs see you wearing enemy colors in their vicinity. Probability of caps busting: + or – %50.

3. FILA/FUBU

Unless you want to get clowned, wearing either of these brands is a no-no.  Despite their efforts at resurgence, Fila’s been dead for going on a quarter of a century.  Their lineup consists of poor copies of past-season designer sneakers and laughable polyester track suits.

As for FUBU, do we even have to go there?  I’ve yet to see FUBU for sale anywhere other than discount retailers and thrift stores, and their brand is deader than fried chicken.  Not to mention it’s ugly as hell.

Long story short, if you roll up to the club in some Fila Prada knock-offs and a Fat Albert jersey, expect to be denied entry.

Fila + Fubu = Denied

Fila + Fubu = Denied

4. RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE SNEAKERS

Wearing your favorite pair of Jordans to the club is practically asking to spend the night in jail.  Because you know once someone steps on your J’s, it’s about to go down.

5. FAKE GUCCI/LOUIS VUITTON/ANYTHING DESIGNER

If you don’t have the money to buy the real thing, don’t even try to front.  Chances are someone’s gonna call you out on it, by which point you’ll end up looking even more pathetic than you did walking into the club faked out in the first place.  Besides, half the hoes in the club probably bought the same shit from the same Korean corner store you did.  This is your chance to be original, make the best of it.  Better to rock something classy and brandless than trashy and branded.

6. ANKLE MONITORS

This should go without saying, but I’ll repeat it anyways. IF YOU’RE ON HOUSE ARREST, STAY HOME. Just because you hide it with rhinestones doesn’t mean the police can’t find you.  And trust me, if the police have to come find you, they’re bringing an asswhooping with them.

Diamond Studded Ankle Bracelet 1

Woop Woop that's the sound of the police Woop Woop that's the sound of your ass getting beat

In short, don’t make these mistakes and you’re on the right track.  And ladies, if you have to wear a weave, at least make sure it doesn’t look like you jacked it off a cabbage patch kid.  Case in point:

New York, you know you're wrong for this.

New York, you know you're wrong for this.

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Budget Ballin’: sneakers and shirts for a steal

Today’s edition of Budget Ballin’ will run you $66.40.

The outfit comprises of a special edition of Vans Sk8-Hi’s and an exclusive Mighty Healthy shirt to keep you looking good.

First up are the Vans.  These are a special edition available at 6pm.com for only $45.45 shipped. They are primarily black, though the inner lining is red.  The outside around the ankle is endorsed with a white silhouette of a man, giving the impression that it is a chalk figure.  The materials are a mix of suede and leather. They are sure to be comfortable and will match quite well with the t-shirt I picked out.

Vans Sk8-Hi Chalked Up Edition, $45.45 shipped at 6pm.com (click picture to buy!)

Vans Sk8-Hi Chalked Up Edition, $45.45 shipped at 6pm.com (click picture to buy!)

Continuing with the somewhat dark theme about this sneaker, I have paired it with Mighty Healthy’s “The War Report” tee, which shows two intimidating mobsters on the chest area. Like the sneakers, the tee is primarily black with red and white accents. It will run you $20.95 shipped with a $3 shipping coupon (code is copy).

Mighty Healthy

Mighty Healthy's "the War Report" tee. $20.95 shipped at Karmaloop (click picture to buy!)

Rock the Vans and this tee with your favorite pair of jeans and a black watch and you will be sure to turn heads.

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Spectacular UPDATE

Check out this reaction video! This will not be a waste of your time.

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Filed under Hilarity Ensues

Qee Gama-Go Yeti

Check out this dope vinyl toy.  The Gama-Go Yeti–only $9.99 right now over at Panik’s Toy Box!

Quee Gama-Go Yeti. $9.99 @ Panik's Toy Box (click picture to buy!)

Quee Gama-Go Yeti. $9.99 @ Panik's Toy Box (click picture to buy!)

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Phil Spector without his wig — ROFLMAO

So I know it’s cruel to kick someone while they’re down, but Phil Spector is alleged to have MURDERED Lana Clarkson, after all.  Perhaps more surprising than these accusations were the various and often ridiculous wigs he wore to his trials.  Well, following his guilty verdict and 19-to-life jail sentence, ‘ole Phil had to lose the wig. And it’s not a pretty sight, to say the least.

Phil Spector with wig

Phil Spector with wig

AND…

Drumroll please…

…………………………..

PHIL SPECTOR SANS WIG!!!

HOT ASS MESS

HOT ASS MESS

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